5 Tips on How to Tell Your Kids About Your Divorce
1. Find the right time and place.
The conversation about divorce will never be an easy one to have with your children. Making sure you choose an appropriate time to have the conversation is important. If it is possible for both you and your spouse to be present during this time, please do so the blame will not be placed on one spouse or the other. Make sure there is adequate time to have the conversation and answer any questions the children may have afterwards. Choose a private, neutral location to have the conversation and insure there will be no disruptions. Creating a secure and trustworthy atmosphere is the key to making the conversation as easy as possible.
2. Practice with your spouse what you are both going to say.
If possible, sit down with your spouse prior to having the conversation with your children in order discuss what and how things should be said. Talking about the things to be said prior to meeting with your children will allow both spouses to express their thoughts about how the situation should be handled. If your spouse is unwilling to sit down with you before telling the children, make sure you have prepared and practiced what you are going to say. Preparing before the meeting will help you remain calm and collective during the conversation with your children.
3. Prepare yourself emotionally.
Divorce is not easy on anyone. Children are often impacted heavily from a divorce. There can be a lot of emotion involved during the divorce process, especially at the beginning stages. It is important to emotionally prepare yourself to tell your children that you and your spouse are divorcing. Processing the emotions ahead of time can help maintain a strong, supportive impression during the conversation with your children.
4. Prepare for questions from your kids.
Kids ask a lot of questions, and as a parent, no one probably has to tell you that. Informing your children about divorce is no different – they will likely have questions. Aside from the emotional preparation, you need to be prepared to answer questions from your children. Think through all the different types of questions that may be asked and then prepare answers for all possible questions. You never know what your child may ask.
5. Be available to talk.
It is absolutely crucial to facilitate communication between you, your spouse, and children. Making a point to avail yourself to your kids solely for the purpose of communicating about the divorce process will help alleviate behavioral aberrations in the future. Provide your children with follow-up information and status updates for your circumstances. A child’s understanding of the divorce process will evolve over time. The more time you spend talking about process, the more you will understand your child’s changes in needs.
For more assistance handling all aspects of your divorce, reach out to our experienced family law attorneys.